How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
