Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool