Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Blood and glitter go together right?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.