im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
21 Ladies Reveal The Sexiest Thing A Man Can Do In A Public Setting
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"