You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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