her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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