I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize