Just fell off a train. Bad.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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