Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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