I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
