If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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