We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
