i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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