Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
