Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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