I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
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