are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
