She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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