My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
