Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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