Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
