Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i think i have two assholes
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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