i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
please don't ironically join a cult
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