don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I understand Curling. That high.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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