i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
