Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
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Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
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Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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