she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
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