Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
