I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
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how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
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I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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