Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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