ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
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She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
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