Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
