she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
