My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Randomize
