I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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