I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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