I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Two words: blizzard sex
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize