i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
