Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
