so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
