I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
