I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
