dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I am one with the molecules
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize