youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize