Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
