he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
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Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
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you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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