just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
