Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
