Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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