so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
