my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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