I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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