Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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