try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
