I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
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