you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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