I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
