Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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