You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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