Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Randomize
