he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
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she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
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Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.