sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
