can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
