oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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