I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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