Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
